Over the years, I’ve learned how to make faces that convey emotions like “concern” “sympathy” “surprise” and dozens of others because, in my experience, people don’t like it when you don’t make a face in response to what they’ve just said to you, but honestly, I’m not always super sure which face I’m supposed to be making when we talk. I’m a really emotive actor though, and great at pretending to feel things, so in the future, if you just tell me what face I’m supposed to be making in response to whatever you are telling me, I’ll knock it out of the park.
I made this poster for my free comedy show Field Day, happening this Friday in beautiful Hollywood, California.
I make gif. Gif tiles. See gif tile. Tile gif, tile!
After accidentally killing Pumpernickel, her boss’s prized Siamese Shorthair, while cat-sitting, Elaine asks George to help her find a doppelganger cat so she won’t get fired. Meanwhile, Kramer insists on pressing every meal in his panini press.
In 4th grade my school had a spelling bee, and despite my inability to spell for shit, I shot the moon, getting just enough words in a row that I guessed how to spell correctly, about 6 words tops, winning the chance to represent (the much more capable students in) my class in front of the entire school.
My teachers knew I couldn’t spell for shit. In fact, I was being taken out of class for an hour every day for one-on-one tutoring with the school psychologist, where she tried in vain to figure out what was wrong with me. On state tests, I was reading at an 11th grade level, but in class, I was failing my spelling tests. After special-ed, I’d come back to class for an hour, and then leave again, because I was also in GATE, a class for “Gifted Children.”
The idea of standing in front of people while trying to spell things naturally terrified me, and I tried to get out of it by pointing out that I couldn’t spell for shit. In cases like this though, my teachers repeatedly thought encouraging me to do things I couldn’t do would give me confidence, and allow me to overcome being learning disabled and kind of a fuck-up.
So the next day, the entire school gathered in the auditorium, and I stood with the representatives of each classroom on stage.
The host explained the rules. She turned to me and gave an example, “like, if I asked you to spell BOAT, you would say?”
"Uh … B-A-O-T?"
I had to stand there while everyone laughed.
"Oh… okay. So in that case you’d hear a buzzer, and you’d be out."
In the end, though, the craziest thing happened! I won that spelling bee and went on to be a productive job-holding member of society.
Nah, just kidding. I lost immediately. Immediately being one of hundreds of words I still have no idea how to spell without a spellchecker.
And then, about 20 years later, I started taking ritalin and became a comedian.
This might not seem like much, but look at it like this.